"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize