Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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