just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Watching her eat just hurts me
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Dicks are not precious.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
