Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
