So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
