Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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