if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize