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I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
