It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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