So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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