Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
