member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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