i jhust puked up my retainher.
too bad you live with your parents still
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
