hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
