Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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