I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
