____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
