So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
