ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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