so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
