I only kidnapped one of them. chill
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
