I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
