TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
