Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
