It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
