We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
