Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
