Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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