I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize