Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
