Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
