She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
