Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Randomize