I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i think my mom watched the whole time
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
