and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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