K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
