i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
