how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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