its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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