I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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