Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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