i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
