WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
