It's Friday. Sex?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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