We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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