Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
