I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
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