marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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