yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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