We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Randomize
