im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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