So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
