No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
