The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize