16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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