Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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