he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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